breathing became an exercise

[inhale] a couple lanes over i couldn’t help
but dissociate: my head began to
bounce between my shoulders
like a tennis match where neither side
said they were deserving of love.
[hold] i admit, i melted into my head-rest. this feeling
of pure exhaustion has taken over being numb.
[exhale] her voice won’t stop
scratching the back of my
brain; there are soundwaves
[hold]
forever scored in me at 45rpm.
they constantly crash
back and forth at 90bpm.
[in.hell] she was in my system
faster than my pupils dilated when she told me
she loved me for the 1st.time.
[hold - i’m really starting to choke now] i never
tasted addiction in the back of my throat
and under my tongue
until i learned how to drown out my
thoughts with a very
[please.hold] specific combination of
(synth/hyper/psychedilc) pop.
she shoulder to shoulder bumped me on
concrete sidewalks while humming
along to the melody.
[exhale - i’m coming to reality… whatever that is]
i remember swinging between memories
in my mind using monkey bars that elicit
septum piercings, rebellion, and
teenage angst.
i really can’t imagine how many
memories i’ve lost to my analog life.