i’m running on 200%

When’s the bubble going to poppoppoppop on
pressuring me to keep thinking about
tomorrow when there are [strat(o/us)][cumulus] clouds
a few feet above my head?
Between my middle-index: a fiery orange-tailed
supernova. I play with it like a drumstick, I roll
around in it like my next day(dream).
There’s electricity pulsing in my ears: when
I’m blacked out
I wonder if that’s my lowest pe(e/a)k. In
parallel, my head is above water by
a few inches - my chin.up is in limbo. I’m being taken away by brainwaves that
sometimes tell me I’m not as good a person as I know I am.
I drown in my mind
while i constantly fantasize about how
I just want to drown in yours,
have you ever learned to swim against that
current? Every night at twenty-one:45pm, she
tells me how heroic I am: but
I argue (internally, of course - right?)
how life is better through the prescription lens of
a villain. The rhythm in my lungs
syncopates a little off
beat to the jazz brass section
we felt back in 19.
I have to remind myself to breathe,
I just keep losing it ever since you’ve been around.
Too many years have passed without even
a {hi}story to tell.

---

it took 57 minutes to break 8 years of silence

when lightning strikes, do you run away or grab it with a death grip

written alongside listening to many songs, but smile - schoolboyq was on repeat.